Sheila is a mother, healthy foodie, and music and animal lover from Utopia, Ontario.
I have had fifty-nine Mother’s Days as a daughter, and thirty Mother’s Days as a mother. Mother’s Day has been tinged with sadness for me in the past. There were the years as a child when I felt we had all let my mother down by being normal self-centered children and not making the day special for her. There were years as a mother with young children when I had unrealistic expectations of how the day would be so magically special for me and was invariably disappointed. There were the years when both my daughters were too far away and I could not see them on Mother’s Day. The messages they sent me of love and regret that they couldn’t be with me made me feel sadness disproportionate to the fact that Mother’s Day is only one day. Every year since my Mom died fifteen years ago, I feel sad and motherless on Mother’s Day.
The truth is, I do not need a Hallmark day to celebrate and be celebrated as a mother. My daughters, who are now adults, are the center of my world and I am thankful every single day for the gift I was given to be their mother. They are not just my daughters; but my friends, my support system, my advisors, my teachers. I know they still and always will need my support and love, and they have it unconditionally; however in recent years there has been a shift in the balance of our relationship. More and more, they are advising me, they are teaching me, they are helping me and guiding me. I value their input more than anyone because I know they always have my best interests at heart and everything they say and do for me comes from a place of love.
My Mom is long gone but ever present. She visits me in my sleep and I awake feeling loved and protected. I have no doubt she is mothering me still. In my dreams we cook together, showing love for family in one of the best possible ways, by making them food.
The last few Mother’s Days have each had a magical special surprise, and despite not needing a Mother’s Day to feel loved as a mother, I have to admit I have loved the feeling of being treated as the most special person in the world for a day. Which I am to my daughters every day, and which my Mom is to me still.
Happy Mother’s Day!